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Of course—even the best essays can be made stronger with effort. Below you'll find a discussion of some of elements of Jennifer's essay that make it strong as well as some comments on areas that could use some revision. As the tips and strategies for option 3 state, the vagueness of the terms "belief or idea" allow an applicant to steer his or her essay in a wide range of directions. When asked about "beliefs" or "ideas," most of us will immediately think in terms of politics, religion, philosophy, and ethics.
Jennifer's essay is refreshing in that she explores none of those things. Instead, she zeros in on something both commonplace yet remarkably important—that nagging internal voice of self-doubt that nearly everyone has experienced at one time or another. Far too many college applicants feel that they must write about something profound, some amazing accomplishment, or some experience that is truly unique. In fact, many applicants get overly stressed because they feel they have had unremarkable lives and have nothing worth narrating in their essays.
Jennifer's essay is a beautiful example of the fallacy of these concerns. She writes about something millions of teens have experienced—that awkward feeling of inadequacy in gym class. But she succeeds in taking that common experience and turning it into an essay that lets us see her as a unique person.
In the end, her essay really isn't about running a minute mile. Her essay is about looking inward, recognizing her sometimes paralyzing self-doubt, examining what it is that often holds her back, and ultimately growing in confidence and maturity. Those four laps around the track aren't the point. What stands out is that Jennifer has learned an important lesson: to succeed, one needs to first step up and try. The lesson she learned—to stop telling herself "no" and just get on with the task at hand—is one that the admissions committee will admire, for it is a key to college success.
When the admissions staff first read Jennifer's title, they are likely to have concerns. If you read the list of 10 bad essay topics , the "hero" essay is one of the topics applicants would be wise to avoid. As meaningful as that amazing touchdown or game-winning home run may have been to the applicant, the admissions folks are tired of reading essays about these moments of athletic heroism.
The essays tend to all sound the same, too many applicants write that essay, and the essays are all too often more about gloating than self-analysis and introspection. Thus, the title "Gym Class Hero" could immediately have the reader in the admissions office thinking, "This tired essay. Here we go again. We quickly learn that Jennifer is no athlete, and her essay is not about heroism in any typical sense of the word.
On one level, the title is ironic. A minute mile is certainly not athletic heroism. Or is it? The beauty of Jennifer's title is that she takes the overused word "hero" and recasts it so that it is something internal, a sense of personal accomplishment that few people outside of herself would see as heroic.
In short, there is a slight danger in Jennifer's title. It's quite possible she'll evoke an initial reaction from the admissions officers, and it may not be a wise strategy to have a title that is going to shut down her readers before they even begin the essay. On the flip side, the beauty of Jennifer's essay is the way that it redefines the concept of the "hero.
There are plenty of strategies for writing a good title , and Jennifer could certainly take a safer approach. At the same time, the play on that word "hero" is so central to the essay something important would be lost with a different title. Common Application essays need to be between and words. You'll hear different opinions on length from different counselors, but there's no denying that much more can be accomplished in an engaging word essay than a well written word essay. The ideal college application length depends on the writer and the topic, but going too short is often a lost opportunity to highlight who you are beyond your grades and test scores.
These are heroes that are overlooked everyday and don't get the recognition they deserve. Also, we have to look at the people who get are children to school ever day, like the school bus driver. A bus driver is a person who has little child lives in their hands five day out of the week. They take them to school they put them up from school. For that time for those hours on minutes that child life is in that person whom ever is driver the school bus hands.
That is a hero to me someone who makes a impact in a person life. Continue reading this essay Continue reading. Toggle navigation MegaEssays. Saved Essays. Topics in Paper. Example Essays. What is a Hero. Continue reading this essay Continue reading Page 1 of 2. Next Page. More Essays:. Critical attention has shifted through the years from Satanism to feminism, from the exultation of Adam to the Anti-Satanist redemption of the character Heroes Literature Review Mythology 1 Page.
Batman Heroes 1 Page. King John is set in Adventure Sports Heroes India 6 Pages. Three-letter word. Has no great personality. Slang for toilet. Painted by Andy Warhol. Worth five points in Scrabble. Then you look again. It means to have the ability, the skill, the belief. Heroes Society Superhero 1 Page. People often talk about superheroes when they hear the word hero. Teachers, doctors, pastors, and volunteers are also considered heroes.
What is a hero you ask? To be a hero does it always require the physical strength, or are there other traits that define a Heroes Poetry 5 Pages. In the ancient Germanic world, heroes are strong men who exude defining personality characteristics that pose them as a threat to others. These traits are what make them formidable, but they are also what drive these heroes to their death. For example, in The Nibelungenlied, Audience Heroes 2 Pages.
Heroes Odysseus 2 Pages. We all have heroes in our lives, and we probably have all taken them for granted at one point. But have Antigone Heroes Sophocles 1 Page. Antigone and Ariel as Tragic Heroes A tragic hero includes someone who is of noble birth, has great qualities and flaws, has a fatal flaw, has a tragic downfall, gets physically or spiritually wounded, is more self aware in cause, and is felt pity from America has always been a place of ideals, a place where people have striven for their concept of a perfect lifestyle.
Certain virtues have permeated the American spirit, and they continue to influence social revolutionaries today. Motivation, courage, intellect, and thoughtfulness are some of the Beowulf Heroes The Avengers 3 Pages. The monster leaps from building to building, his gigantic hands swinging him onto the snake-like aliens. The conflict ensues. After the dust settles, only one figure remains.
The hulking giant is the victor once more. The astounding battle scenes depicted in the film The Avengers
Learning about the heroic journeys of well-known leaders like Nelson Mandela, Congressman John Lewis, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Wangari Maathai and others helps students understand that positive change in this complex and challenging time is truly possible. Every submission is reviewed by staff to make sure it is appropriate and does not promote hatred, racism, sexism or violence. We mentor teachers, students and others who want to learn to use media and technology to share their hero stories.
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